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He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. I started out using Match.com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things.This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Maybe they don’t like my pictures, or maybe I’m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages.Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.We became good friends first and we only started dating 2 years later.Maybe I’m just not really portraying myself very well in my profile or something. RD: Do you think the algorithm and the other tools the dating sites offer help at all? I mean, I like the fact that you can IM with people when they’re online if you want, but as far as the “matching algorithm” goes, I don’t think it really works very well.
Like, OKCupid gives you a percentage of match or non-match you are with certain people.Also, some of the messages I got were from a few guys that ranged from early 40’s to late 40’s and I was maybe 19 at the time.